The Covenant

At the Cinemark

Rated PG-13

Grade D

Cinematic tales of kids in school are always ripe with potential, most often wasted.

Among the notable exceptions that spun intriguing school stories are Peter Weir’s haunting “Picnic at Hanging Rock,” Maggie Smith’s “Prime of Miss Jean Brody” and Robin Williams’ “Dead Poets Society.” All three of those tales tapped into the mysterious, even mystical side of education. All are idealized fantasies of sorts, but they are very watchable.

“The Covenant” is the latest failed film about school kids. This time we visit a boarding school where a group of young men are hiding their Salem-witchcraft-style powers from their classmates. But as they grow older, they start strutting their stuff. Instead of just letting their eyes turn yellow, they do amazing things like mentally lift up skirts of pretty girls to settle bets on the type/color of panties.

And when they get into fights, they can blast their unsuspecting victims against buildings with just a wink.

I gather that their powers “mature” when they reach 18. I think that’s what their “ascension” means — that they are old enough to vote and to vaporize small nations.

Apparently the use of powers makes them grow older, too, but I was so confused by this vapid plot I am not sure what was going on.

I do know that a man who looks like he’s a couple centuries old is introduced as only 42. He’s not getting many dates if he posts his picture on cupid dot-com.

I do know that all the boys were cute hunks who probably did not grow up anywhere near Lake Wobegon. In a gender switch, it’s the guys who are always taking off their shirts.

Trouble starts when a new boy shows up at school who just might be yet another of the Sons of Ipswich who possess the powers. A power battle ensues and somebody wins.

About the only virtue in this is the moody camerawork of Pierre Gill. Reeny Harlin’s direction is uninspired and the acting ranges from tolerable to embarrassing.

The only creepy scene involves thousands of spiders, but for the life of me I could not figure out the link between the arachnids and the occult stuff.

What’s interesting is the inherent interest that young viewers have in gothic films about adolescence. Hollywood needs to tap into this by writing better scripts.