What is the right age to start dating? Are youths in Helena comfortable talking with their parents about sex? Is the sex education teens receive effective?

Helena youths discussed these types of questions Tuesday night during a teen forum on dating sponsored by the Lewis and Clark Library and Youth Connections Coalition.

Some of the 50 students attended to get extra credit for school, but this wasn’t the case for Capital High School senior Marilyn Weber.

“I wanted to come because it sounded interesting,” she said. “It was a good discussion. A lot of stuff comes up easily when talking to people your own age. Everyone is having relatively the same problems, they can relate.”

The teen-led talk welcomed adults in the audience, but only as listeners and observers. If they wanted to ask a question, adults had to submit them in writing to the facilitator.

Nearly all the teens said they communicate a lot using text messages and social networking sites like MySpace.

“Sometimes it’s easier to express emotions in a text,” Saleana Bowen, Helena High School freshman said.

Bowen’s mother passed away just a year ago, so she seeks positive role models to discuss topics like dating and sex.

“I don’t really get dating tips from my dad,” she said. “We can come here and talk to other teens going through what I’m going through. It’s nice sharing feelings about the same subjects because teens in Helena don’t communicate enough.”

Students admitted to being uncomfortable talking about sex with their parents, and others criticized the lack of sexual education they received.

“All we did (in school) was talk about not having it (sex) and had to write 100 things you could do instead of having sex on dates,” CHS senior Palma Tiberi said.

She said she feels lucky to be able to talk openly with her parents about most other subjects.

“Because of the things they talked to me about, I made good choices,” Tiberi said adding that it’s critical to keep an open dialogue with parents.

The dating roundtable was the first of three teen discussions on various topics with the hope of providing young people in Helena a place to speak openly and honestly about their perspectives.

“Teens have an incredible sea to navigate when making everyday decisions,” Drenda Carlson, director of Youth Connections, said in a press release.

“How does this affect who I am and who I want to be? What will others think of me? What would my parents say? These are only a few questions that may be swimming around looking for answers to guide the way. Teens need a place to share their hopes, dreams and worries regarding issues they are facing. Youth Connections and Lewis and Clark Library acknowledge this need and strive to provide an opportunity to teens to share experiences and support each other along their journeys,” Carlson said.

Allie Savage, an AmeriCorps VISTA who facilitated the forum, told the group of young listeners that one in three teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, chocked or physically hurt by their partner.

Lacey Seiller, CHS senior, said there is not a place for teens to talk openly and freely about relationships and many teens are at risk.

“Since most of us are new to the dating world, we aren’t experts,” she said. “We get many of our understandings from the media, and a lot of those are not portrayed correctly.”

Seiller is a member of Link Crew, a program at CHS that provides students with real-life experience being community leaders. Link Crew assisted in the forum to help kick off their recognition of National Teen Dating Violence Prevention Week, Feb. 5 through Feb. 9. They handed out white ribbons, which people are wearing this week to signify their personal pledge never to commit, condone or remain silent about violence in a dating relationship.

“When you start to talk about dating and violence that could come along with it, it is almost like a whole new world has opened up. You pay more attention and become aware of things happening to your relationship,” Seiller said.

The next teen forum is scheduled for Mar. 10, although the topic has yet to be determined.

Reporter Alana Listoe: 447-4081 or alana.listoe@helenair.com