Buildup to a big meltdown

Recently while at the library, I made the mistake of walking by the children's video collection with my 2-year-old son, Peter.

"Bob!" my son announced as he made a beeline for the expansive "Bob the Builder" display.

"No, were not getting any videos today," I said to Peter, as I gently tried to steer him to the circulation desk.

His lower lip jutted out and tears welled in his eyes.

Then to make myself perfectly clear, I said to him, "No videos. End of story."

But it wasn't the end of the story. In fact, it was just the beginning. Because Peter proceeded to throw himself to the floor, kicking and screaming, right in front of the Bob videos, right in front of the entire world.

I bent over to pick him up, but he was yelling and writhing around so much that there was no way I could. So I asked him to stop. Then I pleaded with him to stop. Finally, I stood him up and ordered, "Stop!" I even caved and offered to check out every Bob video at the library, but at that point, Peter could not even remember what he was screaming about.

My face was hot. I was starting to sweat. All I really wanted to do was make a break for it.

Did I abandon my giant pile of books in the middle of the floor? Or did I abandon the screaming toddler?

At that moment, I would have much rather carried the books out the door, forgetting Peter completely. But Child Protective Services frowns on that behavior, no matter how tempting it might be to want to disown your child in the heat of the moment.

Peter's screaming grew louder until a fellow mother peeked around the corner, holding onto her own child, who looked to be about 2 months old and was peacefully asleep in her car seat.

I shot the mom a withered smile and a look that said, "Can you believe this kid?"

But instead of giving me a compassionate glance, she shot me a dirty look, haughtily picked up her sleeping baby and stormed off, perhaps in an effort to keep my whirling dervish from contaminating her blissfully sleeping child.

At first, I was even more embarrassed. Could Peter really be that bad? Had I failed as a mother? Is he the first child to disintegrate like this in front of the library video collection?

But then I got indignant. Who did that mom think she was anyway? With her sleeping 2-month-old in tow, it was easy to think that her kid would never have a meltdown because she didn't get what she wanted. I wanted to call after her and say, "You just wait, sister! You'll get yours!"

We've all seen children who are out of control, and before we have our own, we all think our child will never be that kid. Before I had children, I was sure my child would never throw a fit in a store, library, airplane or some other place from which I could not escape quickly. In fact, I was so sure of this that I may have acted like that other woman and rolled my eyes or sighed impatiently at a parent who was trying to contain a kid in the midst of a tantrum.

Today, however, I am the mother of two boys, one of whom is currently experiencing the terrible twos. My boys don't have tantrums often at all, but in those very rare instances that they decide to let loose, they seem to choose to do so in busy, crowded, and often quiet places where their screams echo off the walls.

That day in the library, as I stood wishing I could become invisible, another mother with a toddler approached me and asked if she could help with something. I didn't know who she was, but I wanted to hug her. I handed her my pile of books and grabbed Peter from the floor. Peter became so interested in her smiling face that his tantrum ended as quickly as it had begun, and by the time we made it to check out, he was smiling at her as I wiped the tears from his eyes.

Of course if his moods shift like that when he's solder, he'll be heavily medicated.

But for now, he's just 2 and Im just doing the best I can.

Sara Groves is a columnist for the Independent Record. Check out her blog, "Montana Momoirs," online at helenair.com.