Suppose you are retired now. You have had a successful career and marriage and your children have left home and are doing well.

What do you do now for the rest of your life? What challenges do you face?

May I suggest a task that may seem a bit morbid but one that I believe should be addressed: preparing for your death.

This may be the greatest challenge you will ever encounter.

What do you do to prepare for your dying? First, I think it would be a good idea to talk to your loved ones about what you want for funeral and burial arrangements, your obituary and what charities mourners can donate to. You may even want to pick out and purchase a burial plot.

Second, if you have been in charge of keeping track of your finances, make sure one of your family members knows where all of your important documents and financial assets can be found and retrieved. Make sure also that your will can be easily retrieved. And I think it would be a good idea to let your children know beforehand what's in your will so there are no surprises. An even division of your estate would probably be most fair and the best way to prevent your adult children from fighting over your will.

Third, you should have a living will in which you specify the conditions under which you would want or do not want to be kept alive by extraordinary means. You should be in charge of how you die by letting people know this when you are still lucid and conscious.

The gift shop at St. Peter's Hospital has an 11-page form for five wishes for your preferred terminal care which can be used in lieu of a living will. Make sure that a copy of this document is placed with your physician, your clergy person and family members.

Fourth, you might want to consider what I call a life review. Look back on your life and remember the good times with gratitude. Compliment yourself on the difficult times that you managed to muddle through.

In the 1950s, a psychologist named Eric Erickson wrote a book on the seven stages of man. The seventh and final phase was ego integrity vs. despair. By ego integrity, he meant that we come to the end of our days with the belief we did well in life, we made the world a better place, and we contributed more that was good than bad. By despair, he meant that at the end of our life we would feel that we had "blown it," that we did not use our talents and resources as productively as we might have.

Fifth, another issue to face is whether you need to forgive or reconcile with some people. You don't want to have any unfinished business on your death bed. By unfinished business, I mean you don't have anything more to say to friends or loved ones, you have forgiven and reconciled with them for any hurts and angers you might have caused each other.

Years ago, psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, wrote about the stages of dying, the last stage being acceptance. Obviously, what I am suggesting is that you do everything possible to ensure you die in peace and acceptance rather than in fear and regret.

J. Bailey Molineux, is a psychologist with Adult and Child Counseling, and can be reached at 406-443-1990.