Adoption requires a few adjustments

The joy of welcoming a child into a family usually comes after the pain of childbirth. That's one aspect that most parents who adopt internationally probably don't miss.

Some joke that the time spent waiting for their child was somewhat less than for the birth of a child -- for some only 7-8 months. Others might wait far longer than 9 months, depending on adoption agencies and countries.

Sheena Wilson laughs when she says she wasn't even present when one of her adopted children arrived.

She was on a trip to Scotland with her mother when the news came that the adoption process from South Korea had yielded a son.

Her husband, John Ilgenfritz, refused to delay the arrival and instead hopped in the car to drive to Seattle. By the time Sheena arrived back in Helena, her new son Jeff was already there.

Parents adopting internationally might be required to travel in the country from which the child is to be adopted.

Information from the Lutheran Adoption Network, one of the major groups aiding in international adoptions, lists 11 countries with which the large adoption agency works. Travel requirements vary from Russia, which requires two trips, to Mongolia, which requires both parents to make one trip.

The reason for foreign travel, according to the Lutheran Adoption Network, is for adoptive parents to see their child's country of birth and experience some of the culture. In this way, international adoptions are helping expand knowledge of other cultures -- perhaps more today than 20 years ago when there appeared to be a mini-wave of international adoptions in Helena.

Peg Hunter recalled that when she adopted her children from Korea, the only trips were to Seattle. At that time, airline passengers frequently were asked to carry the babies to Seattle and hand the infants to travelers' aides who accompanied them through U.S. Customs and to the waiting arms of the adoptive parents.

Although a few months ago magazine headlines in grocery stores highlighted celebrities adopting internationally, like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, or Madonna, international adoptions are no fad. As with in-country adoptions, the move to accept a child into a family is not something to be taken lightly.

Various news sources have discussed problems that arise particularly in international adoptions where countries may have kept babies in orphanages where they had little socialization or bonding opportunities. Even worse are the stories involving children who may have unknown or unreported medical problems, including fetal alcohol syndrome.

Babies who spent time in institutions can take time to adjust to bonding, sometimes clinging to the new adults in their lives, sometimes being aggressive in diverting attention from siblings.

One person noted that the adjustment time takes about as many months as the baby is institutionalized.

Some adopted children, like Jeff and Tia Hunter, were in foster care in their home countries, thus easing the bonding process when they moved to Montana to join a family here. When she adopted Jeff and Tia from South Korea, Peg Hunter said, she also received detailed medical information about the children.

Adjustment isn't just to a new family. In an area like Helena, where roughly 91 percent of the elementary and secondary school population is white, adoptees from Asia, Latin America and non-Caucasian countries might feel distinct in the classroom.

Helena School District officials said the number of Asian American students in Helena schools actually dropped from 94 in 2002 to 89 last year. However, the number of self-reported Hispanic students grew to 172 in 2005 from 117 in 2002, and the number of African Americans also jumped, going from 55 in 2002 to 77 last year.

These numbers are a small percentage of the student population, but they continue to bring cultural diversity to Helena. In-country adoptions and foster care remain viable options for many parents, but international adoption is an option that includes perhaps surprising informal support systems in a town of Helena's size, including a Helena branch of the national organization Families with Children from China that formed here last year.

Upcoming Events:

Dec. 12 - Amnesty International ceremony, St. Peter's Episcopal Church. For more information, contact mtmtntop@aol.com

Dec. 19 - Helena International Affairs Council, 5:15 p.m., City-County Building, 316 N. Park Avenue, Room 326.

Pat Murdo writes Here and There for the Helena International Affairs Council.