Helena residents John and Ellen Cox couldn't be more proud of their son, Bill.

The 28-year-old former National Honor Society member is living in Missoula where he operates a house-painting business.

Noting Bill's exemplary academic record at Helena High School, the Coxes said they never expected their eldest child to find contentment working at a physical job. But they know now that life is full of surprises.

"We had certain expectations for Bill and his sister -- hopes and dreams," John said this week. "College. Career. We wanted them to have the two-car garage and be insured by Allstate."

That vision evaporated only a few days after Bill's graduation in 1995 as the Coxes watched their son slip into a spiral from which they weren't certain he could recover.

"He just stopped sleeping," recalled Ellen. "He went six or seven days without any rest. He was so wired that he scared me."

John remembers fielding questions from his son on such abstract lines of thought as, "Why is grass shaped the way it is?" and "How many universes could fit on a blade of grass?"

He added that Bill shared with him a perception of having a heightened sense of awareness -- a feeling that he could see and feel everything that was going on around him.

"It's like your synapses open up, but not in a positive way," Bill said, adding that he had never felt worse in his life. "I kept thinking, 'I can't live this way.'"

John describes the days he and Ellen spent with their son in this state as torturous. For as energized as Bill appeared, his parents feared he was headed for a crash.

Bill says he felt like his mind was "burned."

By the time Ellen and John decided Bill needed professional help, Ellen was afraid for her son's safety and that of the people around him.

"He appeared to be on the verge of being violent," she said, adding that was a side of her son that she had never glimpsed.

John and Ellen said administrators at Shodair Hospital accepted Bill on an emergency basis, and physicians there began to methodically sift through his behavior to determine its roots -- not an easy task.

"Sometimes the diagnosis is an art form," John said, explaining that the doctors started Bill on lithium, only to send him home, and have him relapse in short order.

Further investigation into Bill's past -- which included a previous stay at Shodair in the sixth grade due to serious behavior issues -- led doctors to the conclusion that Bill suffered from mixed bipolar disorder. He responded quickly to the anti-psychotic/anti-seizure drug, Depakote.

But by then, Bill's parents had faced their worst nightmare. Ellen recalls visiting her son at the hospital prior to his becoming stabilized.

"He was shuffling around, highly medicated," she said. "I felt devastation, fear. Is he going to be in Warm Springs (State Mental Hospital) for much of his life?"

Honestly, Bill says he was worried about the same thing.

"It's overwhelming," he said, adding that it's unfair that most people who are bipolar discover their mental illness just as they enter young adulthood when they should be worrying about starting careers, families and their lives.

As Bill's parents, Ellen and John said they were overcome with guilt -- about their role in his meltdown, about whether they missed any signs leading up to his episode, and more.

Most of all, however, the couple felt overwhelmed by the situation and their ignorance about bipolar disorder.

"We were dying for information," Ellen said, explaining that resources for families coping with mental illness were in their infant stages in this community. "We wanted to support Bill, be we needed help for ourselves, too."

At about that time, John and Ellen were introduced to Helena residents Gary and Sandy Mihelish who had connections with the National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI).

The couple introduced John and Ellen to other families in the community who were in similar situations, and even encouraged them to attend a Family to Family program sponsored by the group.

Ellen said the program helped her and John get a better technical understanding of what mental illness entails, but more importantly, gave them insight about what Bill was experiencing, how to sympathize and how to cope with it.

"I would not have had the tools," said John, explaining that bearing witness to mental illness causes family members to experience a spectrum of emotions ranging from feelings of hopelessness to fury.

Bill said he is grateful to NAMI also.

"It made it where neither I nor my parents have had to work so hard for them to understand where I'm coming from," he said.

In fact, John and Ellen were so affected by the program and the support system they brought from it that they help facilitate Family to Family courses through NAMI for other families in their situation.

According to the Coxes, Bill is doing well -- he's in what the couple describes as recovery.

He is diligent about taking his medication, lives independently and works hard at a job he likes.

John and Ellen say he was fortunate to have had a positive high school experience in which he developed a strong sense of self and honed his personal skills.

Using those successful years as a touchstone, his parents say Bill has been religious about taking his medication to ensure that he never slips back into the mania that consumed his life, and those of his loved ones.

"As long as I'm aware of my responsibilities on the environmental end, my medication is working pretty well and I'm doing pretty well," Bill said.

John and Ellen know that Bill will struggle with his mental illness every day for the rest of his life, and they hope they have the skills to help him through when the fight gets to be too much.

"We will expect a better future in a realistic way," Ellen said.