I am sick of war, and I know that I am not alone, yet our country no longer seems to have an identity outside of conflict.

Still, reading David Smith’s editorial on Iran was disturbing. Bomb Iran for Israel’s sake? Since when did the security of Israel become our abiding national concern? And how long is this supposed to solve the problem of a nuclear Iran?

It occurs to me that bombs are the problem. They have become our first line of diplomacy, and they have proven themselves radically ineffective. Besides sucking the marrow out from the withering bones of our economy, they reduce our morality to the status of caveman with sticks. We spin the wheel of violence and hope by some lucky chance that it lands on peace.

We do not need another war, and that is just what Mr. Smith is asking for. We are going to have to find another way around Iran and it will probably involve dialogue that does not begin with the premise that Iran is evil.

I had the good fortune to visit there in April and I did not find anything that looked like evil. What I did find was an immaculately historical country with great visions of beauty and a wonderful, welcoming people. They are educated. They are connected. And they suffer under a complex and difficult government. Nobody needs to remind them of that fact; they live with it every day.

And though the strict Islamic theocracy gathers much support among the conservative classes who remember too well the difficulties of life under the old monarchy and the sacrifices that were made made to change it, much of modern Iran looks to the West with yearning and respect. There is common ground here, but we are going to have to come down from our high horse to find it.

A measure of humility for their proud and ancient heritage would go a long way towards creating a pathway to disarmament and peace. We must become our own best example.

One of the sticking points is Israel. The old guard in Iran certainly has little regard for the Jewish state. They feel strongly about the plight of the Palestinians whom they regard as their Muslim brethren. It is one of the legacies of the Ayatollah Khomeini, and in light of Israel’s lethal assault upon the captive population of Gaza in January, it is not entirely without reason.

Yet during my visit I sensed a desire to move beyond the impasse. Earlier this decade Iran elected the reformist president Muhammed Khatami, a man very much interested in rapprochement with the West, something he calls the “dialogue of civilizations.” Unfortunately at that time the United States was burdened with a president uninterested in dialogue of any kind and we find ourselves today standing at the nuclear precipice. I hardly believe that a country such as Iran with an abiding concern for continuity would be so foolish as to initiate a nuclear attack; it is a recipe for total disaster.

So we have an opening. An enlightened diplomacy is in order, and I believe that President Obama is entirely capable of this, he has said as much, but for now he is wisely staying clear of a very volatile situation there. He has shown something entirely unique in recent American politics, restraint. He deserves our support.

There are three things that we can do:

First, we must re-examine our relationship with Israel and not blindly follow its needs and dictates. It is important that we become a fairer arbiter of peace in the Middle East. The Palestinians have been dispossessed and require justice.

Second, we must look upon Iran with some measure of respect befitting a great and long-lasting civilization. They have paid the price. They have serious security concerns in a very dangerous neighborhood. The United States is making war on both sides, and with our unsavory history in their affairs they have, understandably, little faith in our intentions. Demanding that they remain disarmed in the face of threats makes no sense. Toning down the rhetoric is an important step forward.

And third, we can empower ourselves and our security as a nation by moving away from the constant and building militarization that now threatens to overwhelm us internally. If we cannot confront the blinding fear that motivates so much of what we do, then no amount of weaponry will ever be enough to protect us.

We must discover a new way of acting in the world. At issue is how we use our strength. I believe our safety lies in a world as prosperous as our own, or at least as prosperous as we used to be. Our belligerence has come at a great cost. It is time to beat the swords into the plowshares. We have exhausted our military options; we have arrived at the nuclear crossroads. We require a new vision.

I have traveled enough to know that all nations hold much in common. We are one fleeting people on one beautiful planet. There is no way to peace; peace is the way.

Will Boland is a Helena writer and photographer long active in issues of peace and justice. He visited Iran in April.